Contact
by Queen of Eden
Summary: “See, I don't love you, not really. If I loved you, truly loved you, I'd want you to be happy." BellaxJacob for the anti BellaxJacob fans.


Title: Contact

Author: Guardian-Devil-Hawkeye © 2008

Fandom: Twilight

Pairing: BellaxJacob

Warnings: Rape-esque scenario

**Disclaimer: Twilight and all of the characters herin are property of Stephenie Meyer and I am making no financial profit from this piece of fiction.**

A Special Thanks To: Laurell K. Hamilton's Meredith Gentry series for supplying the inspiration for this fic in the form of a quote, Winter Demon vol.2 for inspiring an ending for this fic, RENT for providing the inspirational music and Stephenie Meyer for creating such wonderful characters to work with.

* * *

Weeks.

It had been weeks since we heard anything from Jacob. No one had seen him, heard from him, not even his pack could find him. It was like he had shut his mind down. Even Sam had finally admitted there was no way of knowing where he was, or if he was dead or alive.

I sat at the kitchen table, an uneaten bowl of soggy cereal in front of me. The sun was unusually bright today, peeking out from behind the clouds to try and cheer me up. Through the open window, it hit the canary yellow cabinets at an unpleasant angle and I had to push my head into the cradle of my own arms.

I wished for a fleeting moment that Edward were there and my heart lightened a little at the thought. I lifted my head and immediately regretted it. With the weather like it was today there was no way Edward or any of his family would risk going outside the house. Pushing away from the table, I walked the full bowl to the sink and left it there, promising myself I would wash it later. Right now, I had every intention of going back upstairs and sleeping the rest of the abnormally sunny day away.

I pushed my door open and immediately felt like I wasn't alone. Taking a step further, I looked around. The bed, the rocking chair, the desk. Nothing was out of place. No mysterious figures. I looked up to the window, open slightly.

"Edward?"

I closed the door behind me and walked to the middle of the floor, hands on hips.

"Edward are you in here?"

"Bella..."

I jumped. That wasn't the voice I had been expecting. I spun, and saw Jacob's lean form propped up against the door frame.

"Oh my God, Jacob!" There was no definable emotion in my voice. I was unsure of whether to angry or relieved. I ran to him, hugging him around the waist.

"Where have you been?! I was worried sick!"

He stiffened, his arms hung limp at his sides as I hugged him, something that had never happened before. I backed up and looked up into his face. It was an unreadable mask.

"I got your invitation..."

I had to think for a second until I realized what invitation he was talking about.

"He sent it?"

Jacob nodded.

"Is that why you left?"

He shrugged, "Among other things."

I took that as a yes.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you would react like that. If I had known I ne-"

"Shut up Bella."

His words struck me hard.

"What?"

Sighing, he pushed his dark hair out of his eyes.

"Shut up. Stop making excuses. I'm tired of it."

I didn't see him move, but suddenly he was behind me, his strong arms wrapped around my abdomen. I squirmed, but he held tighter, determined to keep me there.

"I did a lot of thinking while I was gone Bella,"

He kissed my hair and I whimpered at the sweetness of it.

"and I think I've come to terms with my feelings."

My feet momentarily left the floor and I was deposited on the bed, Jacobs sweltering body pressed against my back.

"Jake, get off!"

Either he didn't hear me, or he was ignoring me because he kept talking.

"There's no way he's going to give you up without a fight, and as much as I hate to admit it, he's stronger than me. I wracked my brain, trying to find out some way to beat him at his own game."

I felt his hands move upwards, still wrapped around me. Gasping, I tried desperately to wiggle my way out from under him, his hands grabbed my breasts and squoze, hard, drawing a yelp from me.

"Jake please, stop this."

yet again he ignored me.

"See, I don't love you, not really. If I loved you, truly loved you, I'd want you to be happy. I'd want you to have the life you enjoy, not just the life I think you should have. But that's not what I want for you. I want you to be with me. I want you to look at me like you look at him without the guilt. I hate the way you would rather fuck him than me. I hate the way you blame everything on yourself. I hate knowing that as much as you enjoy my touch, it's not everything you need, or want."

I hid my face in the pillow, afraid to look at him. His hands left my torso and I cringed at the waft of cold air across the backs of my legs as he rid me of my sweatpants.

"Please Jacob, stop. Please stop."

I tried to move, but his bulk made it impossible. Even if I had, nothing I could have done would have deterred him. His lips and fingers were like coals against the small of my back and thighs as he kissed and touched at his leisure. It was hot. Unbearably so. The air was so thick with heat I could hardly breath. The backs of my eyelids burned red, like they had when I kissed him on the mountain. This time though, I didn't see a happy future together, no small black-haired children frolicking around my legs.

No.

Now all I saw was fire. His fire, the fire that consumed his soul as he kissed, touched and licked my legs, back and rump. I was tumbling in it, lost in the explosive heat of it all. At some point I stopped moving and he stopped kissing long enough for him to raise up above me.

I still didn't move.

He took this as a sign to continue and with a grunt, he touched my hair.

"Thank you Bella, for yielding to me." he muttered, and flipped me over.

I saw myself as a mirror reflection in his now saucer-like eyes. Hair tangled everywhere, damp from sweat and tears, face streaked with the same, eyes red and puffy. He leapt off of me, staggering backwards across the room only to be stopped by the dresser.

"Shit..."

I could do nothing but stare doe eyed at him from the bed as he began muttering and pacing.

"Shit, shit, shit! I can't do anything right. What the hell am I doing anyway? I can't believe I almost.."

He paused his rant and looked to me again, confirming his thoughts. Shaking his head he clamped the heels of his palms over his eyes and let out a strangled groan. Looking up finally, he started to speak;

"I'm so sorry I-" and as if he couldn't bear to look at me anymore, he opened the door and ran. I heard the front door slam and the force of it shook the framed pictures in the living room.

Under different circumstances I would have chased after him, comforted him, but now I could do nothing save for curl into the fetal position on the bed.

The spot where I lay was cool and damp from my sweat, but I could care less. I cared almost as much about that as I did about Edward coming later and the interrogation as to why the room and I smelt like dog and the fact that I was still In only my camisol on the bed.

I started to cry again as I lay on my side.

Weeks.

It had been weeks since we heard anything from Jacob and as far as I was concerned, it could stay that way.


End file.
